Forty-eight hours before Rodney, a technology executive in Silicon Valley, was to speak at a major industry conference in Las Vegas, he asked my agency to prepare press materials that would be distributed during his presentation.
In short order my team assembled the materials, and provided them to Rodney for his review. Given the tight timeframe, we suggested that he carry the materials with him on the plane, as opposed to having them shipped overnight, to reduce the risk of them getting lost or misplaced.
Because Rodney was unwilling to lug the materials himself, we contacted the conference manager for specific shipping and delivery instructions to ensure the materials would arrive on time. As is routine, we also called to confirm delivery.
Rodney’s flight into Las Vegas had him arriving at the conference center about an hour before he was to speak. As he got to his room, he phoned in a panic to inform me that the materials were nowhere to be found.
I immediately called the conference manager who assured me that the materials were en route and would be delivered shortly to Rodney’s breakout room. I called Rodney to update him on the situation, and gave him the conference manager’s cell number in the event the materials didn’t arrive within the next few minutes.
Much to my disappointment, Rodney’s materials never arrived.
The next morning (and back from the conference), Rodney came to my office. He started ranting and raving about how his presentation was an abysmal failure because he lacked handouts. He described how embarrassed and unprepared he felt in front of his peers, clients, and contacts. He suggested that the fault ultimately lie with me for not handling his project to completion.
In an attempt to remain calm, I empathized with Rodney and explained that my team had done everything within its power to ensure his materials would be available. I repeated to him the steps I had taken in obtaining the conference manager’s shipping and delivery instructions, even verbally confirming with the conference manager that the materials had arrived and would be available. I also reminded him that I had recommended he carry the materials himself. Short of delivering the materials personally, I believed there was nothing more we could have done.
Rodney’s response? “Then I guess you should have gotten on a plane and delivered them yourself! You have failed!”
Throughout the course of doing business, situations arise that don’t go as planned despite our best efforts. Although we don’t have the ability to control everything, we do have the ability to control how we react in such situations.
It’s essential for brand-conscious professionals to avoid the tendency to act out or mirror someone else’s erratic behavior. Instead, remain calm, composed, and focused upon how similar situations can be avoided in the future.
In the words of Thomas Jefferson, “How you handle yourself when things don’t go your way speaks volumes about you.”
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Jonathan, knowing you to be the consummate professional, both from an effectiveness perspective as well as from a demeanor perspective, it’s regrettful you had to experience this reaction.
I am continually amazed by how little people are willing to accept responsibility for their own decisions and actions.
Clearly. Rodney hasn’t learned the valuable lesson of integrity and chose to project his poor preparation onto you.
But I do know that it is essential to take the high ground if you are to reach higher ground yourself. I wish that weren’t so but it is.
The saying this situation brings to mind: “Just because someone is being a jerk to you doesn’t mean you have to be a jerk back.”
It is so unfortunate that “Rodney” is representative of so many; and yet you are spot on. Best always to be true to yourself and maintain composure, rather than be pulled into someone else’s dysfunction. As I advise my clients — best simply not to get into the boxing ring .. .that’s where “they” live … better to stay put and let the crazies ‘box’ alone.”
Great post!
Jonathan,
Great post. Something similar happened to us recently — we suggested the attorney send out the materials electronically after the conference. That way, he could follow up with the attendees, get their thoughts on the conference, and perhaps get some new business leads.
I think your post also speaks to the fact that if Rodney is going to be a brand-conscious professional, he’d better allocate more time for you to do your job, and be more forgiving when he asks for the nearly impossible and something goes wrong. What happened to Rodney in Vegas, should have stayed in Vegas.
Tom, great last line!
Jonathan,
Thanks for the useful reminder!
I had a teacher who said imagine that everyone is barefoot in a world covered with broken glass.
You have two choices: Either spend your whole life trying to avoid the glass or get a pair of sandals.
In other words It is impossible to try to control others. It is much more effective to learn about the nature of your mind.
Then learn how to keep centered in tough situations.
Wow, this is a thought-packed blog! Great advice on remaining calm when under attack and focusing on solutions. Also critical to note the importance of preparation in advance, without putting yourself and everyone around you under stress or pressure. Also notable to see how Rodney treated staff….as a newbie lawyer almost two decades ago, a supervising partner pointed out to me that the people I would have to work hardest to impress in my career would be the secretaries, office service staff, judge’s clerks, etc. Rude treatment of others is never acceptable, but when it comes from the misguided belief that you are superior in some way to the person you are mistreating, it’s that much worse. As an old joke goes, when you are rude to the waiter, expect the next (silent) question to be “and would you like the spit served in your salad, or with your entree?”
Great message; I love the quotation by Jefferson to drive it home.