Don't be a Hater
Throughout September, controversy in the Entertainment Industry has centered on Chaz Bono as a contestant on Dancing With the Stars. Amid varying suggestions that spotlighting a transgendered individual during prime-time television programming would usher in Armageddon, I was impressed with the professional manner and decorum that Mr. Bono displayed (and continues to display) throughout the ordeal.
But, criticism toward those who are in pursuit of a better station in life isn’t exclusive to individuals in the limelight.
One of my dear friends, Sophia, is a successful businesswoman. She is smart, attractive, articulate, likeable, physically in great shape, and sought after professionally as a consultant by sophisticated organizations throughout the country. She is at the top of her game.
From time-to-time, Sophia shares with me what she perceives as negative feedback from others, mostly women. She is criticized for her appearance (professionally dressed to the nines with tailored suits, great coif, tasteful attention to hair, makeup and nails, etc.). She is criticized for her continued efforts toward professional development (she regularly attends seminars, is active in industry associations, and serves on boards for community-based organizations). And, she meets resistance when suggesting that the “status quo” isn’t good enough.
Ultimately, her personal brand is Excellence, and she demonstrates it in everything she does.
After a while, such criticism leads Sophia to second guess her personal branding strategy. Should she give weight to the criticism with the thought that her pursuit for excellence may be alienating some of her base? Or, should Sophia interpret such feedback as proof that she’s on the right track?
At some point during each of our pursuits (professionally focused or otherwise), we are sure to encounter the voice of dissention—individuals who are intimidated by our accomplishments, jealous of our success, and who lack the self-esteem and/or drive to better their situations.
My advice to Sophia, and to other professionals, is to listen to and consider all forms of verbal, non-verbal, and written feedback, but ultimately trust your own emotional intelligence (gut feeling). When met with opposition, seek the counsel of those you know who will provide you with honest and genuine feedback.
There will be times when a course correction is in order. Don’t be above reproach. Do whatever it takes to make the change.
In all other instances, simply hold your ground!
To paraphrase comedian Katt Williams, “If you don’t have haters, you’re doing something wrong. Go out and get yourself some!”
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